10 Ways to Remember a Loved One (Who Has Passed) on Your Wedding Dayby Jennifer Fiander, Lil’ Angel Gifts
By the time we reach our wedding day, many of us have lost one or more very important people in our lives- people who would have played an important role in our special day had they been able to be present, and who we still want to include in the day.
If this is the case with you, you’ve likely thought about having some type of memorial included in your wedding, to recognize the impact that person has had on your life, and on getting you to this eventful time in your life.
While many people wince at the idea of including a memorial as part of a wedding day celebration (for fear of being too depressing), there are way to honor and “include” a deceased loved-one in the day without it being so.
Remember to keep any type of memorial somewhat subtle (it shouldn’t overpower the “celebratory” mood of the day) and respectful. There are many, many things you can do to remember them, and it really depends on your style and personal preference.
Before sharing the list of "10 Ways to Remember", I'd like to share with you one of the most fulfilling moments I have had as an entrepreneur. I received an email from a woman who had used my products to act as a “memorial” in her wedding. She had ordered two journals- “For My Mother- on my wedding day” and “For My Father- on my wedding day” . These are relationship journals that the bride fills in for her mother or father, with the intention of giving them to them on her wedding day. She wrote me a very touching email after her purchase explaining that her parents had passed away, and she had purchased the books with the intention of filling them in with her thoughts- thoughts she would have filled in and given to her mom and dad. She had planned on having them at the reception for guests to read. She thanked me for the opportunity to be able to do so.
Wow. I cried just reading the email, and was honored that something I created was being used in such an important way. I imagine there were many tears filling in the books, and many tears at the reception. I imagine most of us might not want to get that in depth with a memorial (I think she found it therapeutic to be able to go through that journey).
Remember, it is your wedding- essentially you can do what you’d like. Just be careful not to upset the mood of your very special day.
Here are those suggestions I promised :)
1. Wear something that your loved-one wore on their wedding day (for example if the person is your mother), or pin a photo into your dress so they can be with you. You can also place a small photo of your loved on in your bouquet (in a tiny frame), or incorporate it into the ribbon.
2. You can leave a chair empty where the person would have sat at the ceremony and/or reception, out of a sign of respect. Or, a separate chair can be set up to represent theirs, with their photo on the chair.
3. Ask the officiant to say a few words about those who aren’t able to be present in body, but are in spirit. He or she has likely done this before, and can help you with the wording.
4. Write a letter or poem of what you would say to that person on that day. You can read it, have someone else read it, or keep it private.
5. Use flowers or candles in the church to symbolize the loved one/s. You might want to include this in the program, so the guests understand the relevance of the candles or flowers. You may designate someone specific to lay out the flower/s at a particular time (like carry in a single long-stem rose when they enter the church and lay it up front), or you may light a candle for that person when you light your unity candle.
6. Have a nice photo frame set up at the reception with your loved one’s photo in it. You might also set up a digital photo frame which would rotate through different pictures. This would also work well if you are doing any type of photo “tribute” to the bride and groom, and their lives (from babies up). Include photos of them with their remembered loved ones in the photo rotation or slideshow.
7. Include a short poem, or thought on the program itself, along with who it is in memory of, and list the names.
8. Mention them in your wedding toast or speech- but keep it short & sweet, otherwise you’re liable to turn into a blubbering bride!
9. Some brides & grooms will forego buying traditional favors and will instead make a donation to a charity or cause of choice. You could do so for a loved-one, and have a card on the table that states you’ve made a donation to _________ organization, in memory of that person or people.
10. Find out the person’s favorite reading or poem and work it into the ceremony. Or, if they had a favorite song, include this at the reception. Dedicate the dance to them.
To see our complete line of relationship journals, including our popular For My Groom journal, please vist our website at www.lilangelgifts.com.
Copyright 2009 Lil’ Angel Gifts
Lil’ Angel Gifts is a small family company, with all originally designed products. Our Lil’ Angel supports special needs & community causes. We offer a wholesale program for interested retailers/websites.